Why I CAN’T Wait Another Year To Get Married

As many of you know, Tyler and I were supposed to get married in November 2020; then, we pushed up the wedding to August foolishly thinking that during summer, COVID-19 would have simmered down (boy were we wrong). When things got worse at the beginning of July, we knew we had just to cancel everything and leave the date TBD for 2021. That idea worked for a few days, but then it hit me, the number one reason why I can’t wait another year to get married.

Some of you know my dad is pretty sick. He has had diabetes for over 15 years, and his kidneys are operating at maybe 4-7%, so he goes to dialysis 3x a week. He is also slowly losing his vision but that, for the most part, he can see pretty well, thankfully. He was on the kidney transplant waiting list for years, and just a couple of months ago, UC Davis (his doctor) called and informed him that he is removed from the waiting list due to his current condition. They said something about too much plaque in his arteries, causing them to harden and something about his osteoporosis. Saying someone in his state would not qualify for a kidney transplant. 

This news broke my heart, and I can’t even imagine how my dad felt. He’s strong and always shows us that he can handle anything, but hearing that; I’m sure it was not easy for him. He is currently waiting to hear back from Stanford for a second opinion, so we have hope and faith that they have some positive news, but until then, this is the situation. Over the last year, I’ve seen a significant change in my dad. His osteoporosis has taken a toll on his body, which is typical for someone on dialysis. My dad is only 53 years old, an age wherein my opinion should still be able to run, walk a reasonable amount of time, have loads of energy to do things without getting super tired, out of breath, dizzy, and feeling like fainting if he does too much. His bones are very fragile right now, and he struggles to stand sometimes and is in pain 24/7. 

Growing up I never cared to get married, I thought it was pointless and a way to validate your relationship to others (I don’t think that way anymore)  but I did think if the time ever came, I’d love for my dad to walk me down the aisle and have our father-daughter dance. When Tyler and I got engaged and started planning our wedding, I instantly knew the song my dad and I would dance too. A beautiful song called “Butterfly Fly Away” by Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus. My dad would tell me all the time that I was his little bird in his nest, and one day I would spread my wings and fly. Sure the song says butterfly, but you get the point, pretty much the same thing. You can read more about my relationship with my dad here.

I would and still get teary-eyed thinking about that moment where my dad walks me down the aisle in my beautiful wedding dress and him, in his excellent suit looking all handsome. The moment he goes out with me onto the dance floor and we share that moment dancing, where I am still his little girl, where I am still his little bird in his nest. I want that moment of just us.

So when I thought about postponing the wedding until the Fall of 2021, I thought about a few things. Most of all, I thought about my dad. Is he going to be ok? Would he still be able to walk? Would it be too much to dance? I started getting nervous and scared. Then I thought, ok, what is the worst-case scenario especially with COVID-19 spreading, would he still be here? I hate to even talk about it, but this is something serious I felt I couldn’t just ignore and pretend it’s all going to be rainbows and sunshine all the time. Life sucks and is so unfair sometimes, so I told Tyler I couldn’t wait until next year and risk it. 

As I mentioned, I am typically a pretty optimistic person, but lately, I’ve been more realistic and have had a loved one taken away too fast, too young. That taught me that in a second, life could change, and someone you love can be gone quicker than expected. I don’t and won’t risk waiting. My dad HAS to be there at our wedding, and I want him to see his little girl marry the man of her dreams. I want him to “give me away,” I can’t explain why it means so much to me, but it does.

We are talking about eloping with only our parents and siblings, and honestly, I am 100% ok with that. Life is short, and I don’t care for a big/medium size wedding right now. I care for my parents to witness it, along with Tyler’s parents. In the end, that’s all that matters, family. I rather have something now while everyone is alive and well than to risk waiting for anything to happen. Life is fragile, and all we have is today. Tomorrow is never promised.

Thank you so much for reading this. I appreciate you and your time.

My awesome amazing, loving dad, Victor M. Sanchez. A man that has inspired me always to follow my dreams and to remember that it’s never too late to start. I love you, Dad, you’re my superhero.